Dear Blue,
Hi there! I have been reading your column for ages! I am writing in with more of a gripe than a question, but you seem so great with words maybe you can explain it better.
I am a 13.2 hand chestnut gelding. I had a great couple of years in the high class show ring, but a nasty popped splint put me off my game. I’m not complaining though I have a great new job. I now reside in nice little show barn that really focuses on getting the average human kid started with ponies. I have to say I am a pretty good school horse. I stand on the cross ties, I pick up my feet without a fuss. No nasty vices here!
One thing I do happen to do is test my humans sometimes. Not the ones that are just starting out, I wait ohhh a good couple of months, right when they start cantering and jumping. Well, Blue, you know I would never do anything nasty like run off or buck, but I do try to come off the rail, or park, or sometimes I try to run out at a jump-only when my human isn’t paying attention.
Yeah-some other schoolies say it is mean of me, but I say and a few others agree with me, that it gets them thinking! Keeps them on their toes! A good school horse will do that! I know you fancy show ponies pride yourselves on being perfect, but someone has to keep these kids in line! Someone has to get them ready to get on green horses!
I want all those human kids out there to know that their local school horse is trying to help them learn! Take advantage of that kids! When you can keep you pony on the rail, and make them jump straight over the jump and never have any run outs-well you are really coming along! All thanks to us!
Blue, I want you to let all your readers know just how important we school horses are! We may not look so fancy anymore, but they need us!
Local school Horse Union 110
Dear Doc,
You know, I have a great respect for school horses! I could not have made your point any clearer. I urge all my human readers to take a moment and give a school horse a pat, and extra carrot, or what have you.
Dear Blue,
My name is Al, short for Al Capony. I have been doing the small pony hunters for what seems like ages now! Well the most horrendous thing happened to me about a week ago in the field! I was minding my own business grazing on some nice juicy grass when suddenly I heard a low growl! I thought it was a little bit funny at first, but then didn’t think much of it. After about five minutes I heard it again! I looked up and pricked my ears, and imagine my surprise at what I saw!!! There was a giant lion standing right there in my field! Well what’s a good pony supposed to do! I ran back behind a large oak tree in my pasture and donned my super pony clothes! (I have been trying to keep my super Pony status secret for a while but I just can not manage it any more!) Having duel personalities is far to taxing!) Well Blue, let me tell you, I put my orange plaid covered head down and steamed right towards that old lion just like a bull charging! All the other ponies looked on in amazement. (I guess hearing about Super Pony is just not the same as seeing him in person.)
The lion and I had a rip down drag em out brawl. He was trying to bite me, and I was trying to kick, but finally I prevailed.. I used my super ionic ear lazer, which shoots right out of the tips of my ears and stunned the nasty cat! I then had to drag him out of the pasture to ensure the safety of the other inhabitants.
Your are probably wondering what my question is at this point, and frankly I have forgotten it myself. However, I want all your readers to know that when there is a need Super Pony is there to do the deed!
Super Pony away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Al,
Well, goodness that was quite a story. I don’t really know what to say. I am not sure of my readers will believe that a lion was loose in your area, but then again there are some suckers out there!
Dear Blue,
I have terrible problem! I just popped a splint in my right front leg. At least that is what I heard my vet say to my trainer! I am a 16.3 up and coming jumper. My girl really loves on me, and we show in the jumpers all the time. Almost every weekend! I am afraid that I am not going to be the same!!! What if my girl gets tired of me!!!
Dear Ouch in Westchester,
First I want to express my condolences on your injury! I hope you were not rough housing in the pasture. You know well mannered horses try to avoid that nonsense. A splint is never any fun, but don’t fret my good hearted friend, it is not the end of the world either. Before you get your blankets in a twist let’s just be sure you know exactly what it means to “pop a splint.” The splint bones (there are two the medial and lateral) run along the cannon bone. (The long bone from the knee down) They are attached at the top of the bone but not the bottom. This makes them slightly flimsy and susceptible to injury. It the splint bone becomes cracked or damaged, your care taker may notice swelling surrounding a knot on the side of your leg. It will be painful to touch and you may have the urge to yank your leg away when it is touched. Try not to do this as humans are much better at fixing us up then e are at fixing our selves up.
These injuries can make us lame from a few weeks to a few months. It all depends on the severity of the injury. Usually what will happen now is your human will dap on something to get the swelling down. Sometimes this is a mix of DMS, and furazone. They will then sweat the leg, which consists of putting plastic wrap over the ointment, and then wrapping your leg in a standing bandage. This should feel pleasant to you! They might give you some bute to take the ache away.
Don’t fret! Enjoy the time in your stall! I am sure that your girl is just as upset as you are about your injury. When she comes to care for you be sure you are sweet to her Give her some nuzzles and head buts. Before you know it you will be back in training!
Dear Blue,
Hi there! I have been reading your column for ages! I have been meaning to write in for some time, but just have not had the chance! It's hard to get to a computer from my stall. I keep trying to tell Jody that we ponies need internet access in the barn. She doesn't seem to understand me though, just tells me to quite pawing and carrying on.
Anyway I have been having a minor problem with my human. She is a wonderful girl, always around gives me lots of pats and treats...but sometimes she gets frustrated with me and yanks and pulls on my mouth! Believe it or not sometimes she pulls and kicks! I just don't know what to do! I try to tell her to knock it off by shaking my head and jigging when I'm supposed to walk but it just does not do any good! I wish humans could just learn to speak pony for ten minutes! We could come to such an understanding!
So Blue, what should I do? She's not understanding what I want her to do and when I try and speak with her she just gets angrier! I feel like I am talking to a wall, and again
I really love her otherwise!
From,
A frustrated pony
Dear Frustrated pony,
First I have to tell you something I have come to learn about humans. They are not very talented at understanding our language. They try and try but most humans never seem to truly understand our language. They are all about words rather than body language.
Second I have to tell you I am proud of you. Some ponies would have just gotten angry right back at their human and bucked (heavens!) or god forbid reared! But obviously you are a classy pony like myself who does not engage in such mannerisms.
As for dealing with your human my advice to you would be patient. When she is soft with her hands and body give a little, and eventually she will learn to give as well. Humans are funny in a lot of ways, they really are slow learners. It will take some time but it will be a very rewarding experience for you. Training a successful human takes months if not years of hard work on your part. My human and I eventually came to a brilliant understanding I hardly had to remind her of anything after a while. I took her to shows and we outshone absolutely everyone! ( I don't mean to brag but she was a dear!)
Blue
Dear Blue,
I need your help desperately! I think my human has forgotten me! I haven't seen her all winter! I still get ridden but it's by different people all the time. I know show season coming up and I look terrible! I am a mess! I have a long mane, terrible whiskers and those nasty mudscratches on my legs! My human was here all the time and now she just is never around! I don't know what to do! I have been thinking about leaving town. I am a big guy and could easily jump out of pasture and run off, and frankly it is coming to this!
Freaking out
Dear Freaking out,
Now listen. First you seem a little wired up. Before you go off and run away from your human you need to think a little bit. Maybe you ought to go out in your pasture and run around a bit let off some steam! (Do be careful though, many ponies such as myself find a charging steaming maniac horse running around his pasture a touch disconcerting)
After you have calmed down, think about this. Humans, particularly of the younger adolescent variety tend to get distracted very easily. During the day they go to this place they call school, where supposed important learning and special events take place. School can sometimes be a big distraction for a lot of our human friends. They are required and encouraged to do other things such as kicking around a ball (honestly of all the things!) or attempting to make music. (hopefully it is better than the horrendous noise played in the barn on the weekends! Humans have no consideration for natural music, the birds singing the squirrels chattering..)
My point is your human certainly does still care about you, and wants you to look good for show season but has just not gotten there yet. They don't realize that they can't just hop on us and expect perfection! I don't expect my human to be perfect after a three week break from riding. If I were you I would try and stay calm, try some deep breathing exercises. Look out your window and listen to the sounds outside. Pretty soon it will be Spring and your human will be there all the time! (What other choice does she have after letting you fall into disarray, mud scratches take quite a while to heal, and your mane will need to be pulled, your whickers trimmed, you tail combed out. Really humans just make more work for themselves)
Dear Blue,
Hi, I have a horse at GSS. I have a problem. When I am around, Jody, Maggie, or before Jason, I would always do stuff wrong. Today, my horse freaked out, and bolted in the indoor, knocking down the indoor fence. It only happens when an instructor is watching.
Also, all my stuff keeps disappearing from my trunk. I think it's my friend. I get in trouble for leaving all my stuff in the aisle.
Luv,
Confused1
Dear Confused1,
I have to tell you, after reading your letter, I can say, you are not the only human to have this problem. The trouble you are having around your instructors seems to me, is due to nerves. When you are around your trainers do you feel as if you are under pressure to get everything perfectly? In many cases, if you concentrate so hard on doing something right, things go wrong. We ponies can sense this nervous energy as well. My advice to you is to take a deep breath and relax! Your instructors are there to train you, not to belittle you, they want you to do well!
The second half of your letter concerns me! I am sure that a well mannered Greystone girl would NEVER leave her things lying about in the aisle! This includes tack, hoof pickings, and lunches! If for some reason you were struck with a bought of amnesia and forgot to put your things away, some good soul may do it for you, however, they may not. I would assume then, that your things get lost in the shuffle of every day barn life. A good remedy for this is to walk through the barn after you are done riding and scan the area for things belonging to you. Put them right back where they belong, right away! If your are concerned about people and ill mannered ponies going through your trunk, close it up, and put a lock on it!
Blue
Dear Blue,
Hi there! I am having a terrible problem keeping my pony's tail tangle free. It is always full of burrs and manure, and is a horrible mess. I try to brush it, but the brush rips out the tail.
Please Help!
Tangled Mess
Dear Tangled Mess,
Well before I dispense my advice, I am curious to know how your pony's tail got this way in the first place? I hope that you bought him with an already tangled tale and are fixing the problem yourself, as I am sure none of my readers would allow their ponies' tails to fall into such disarray.
Now, on to solutions. First, the burrs need to go. I understand the burrs can be troublesome. Sometimes baby oil can help loosen them, but generally you will need to pick them out by hand (wear gloves if your hands are sensitive).
When the burrs are removed, douse the entire tail in show sheen and get as many knots out as you can. For really bad mats, combing conditioner into the hair can be an added kick.
Once the hair is reasonably tangle free, wash the tail thoroughly. Then condition again. Follow up with some show sheen and another gentle brushing. (Always be very careful when brushing the tail; we ponies detest split ends, and some of our humans must finger comb our tails rather than use a brush)
If you keep up a daily grooming regime be sure to attend to your pony's tail on a daily basis. This should keep his tail in show worthy condition.
Blue
Dear Blue,
I have a very sweet pony, but we have one problem: She hates the barn pig. She is sooo afraid of it! He is a very nice pig, and there is no reason that she should be that afraid of him.
I NEED HELP!
Hates Bacon
Dear Hates Bacon,
Hmmmmmm. Such an interesting problem. First, I am curious about your pig's hygiene. Sometimes pigs have a very strong odor which is alarming to our ponies' sensitive noses. (You know how I love to smell like daffodils) Perhaps your pony would be better suited to meet this porcine gradually, without having the pig intrude on your pony's personal space. You may want to find someone to help with this, as I find pigs and ponies can be stubborn at times. If your pony learns to accept the pig in small increments, and from a distance, she may be able to handle having the pig near her in the aisle or even in her house (AKA stall). Most ponies can accept unusual creatures, but they just need time, like people, to accept and adjust. I myself have a very good pig friend, and have many entertaining conversations with her.
Good Luck!
Blue
